The Twin Disasters Return to Alagaesia
by WereCat the Assassino
Summary: After a long-time away from Alagaesia spent roaming the Earth, WereCat and her BFF, Kattie, return! Only to find that not a single person can recollect anything about them! What kind of chaos can these tow walking disasters come up with? first in a series
1. Artemis and Belliahal?

**Hey, third time's the charm! Hope you enjoy!**

**WereCatsRule: Belliahal will say the disclaimer!**

**Belliahal: Do I have to?**

**WereCatsRule: Yes or I will get angry and, you won't like me when I'm angry!**

**Belliahal: *worried glance* WereCatsRule does not own the Inheritance Cycle or its characters.**

**WereCatsRule: Thank you! Not get back in the story!**

**Belliahal: OK *runs into story***

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………**..**

"AHHHHHHHH!"

Any nearby bystanders would have looked up to the strangest sight in Alagaesia. Two figures were falling out of the sky! Luckily there was no one nearby.

With a loud thump, two of the most normal visitors to Uru'baen fell in the dirt near Helgrind. "WereCat, you need to work on your landing spells!" yelled figure one, a brunette with glasses practically falling off her nose.

"Well, sorry! Those things are really hard!" yelled figure two, apparently WereCat, a sandy blonde who was at least four inches shorter than figure one.

"Easy for you to say, you didn't land on your butt!" yelled figure one.

"Your right, Kattie!" retorted WereCat. "I actually landed on my face!"

"Hey where are we?" asked Kattie.

"Helgrind!" squeaked WereCat.

"Really?" asked Kattie.

"Just give me the bread Roran!" they heard a faint voice say.

"Ah see you look better already," came the response. "Maybe you just needed something to get your hackles up!"

"Yay!" whispered a thoroughly excited WereCat. "We came on their expedition to Helgrind!"

"Yay!" yelled Kattie.

"Shhhh! be quiet Kattie! We're gonna get caught!" at this moment WereCat slipped on a piece of shell causing it to make a metallic sound, similar to a sword being drawn.

"Oops!" said WereCat as she fell on her butt.

Both men jumped in a ready stance and one yelled, "Who's there? Show yourself!"

Not willing to get caught, WereCat began scooting back as fast as she could, but wasn't fast enough. One of the men grabbed her arm and pulled her up. "Ahhh!" she yelled.

"Well, look what we have here!" the man, Roran commented. "We have found a little girl! What's your name?"

"Um…..uh…… "She then thought of the name of her favorite Greek goddess, Artemis. "My name is Artemis!"

"Is anyone else with you, Artemis?" asked Roran.

Before she could say anything, Kattie came out of the bushes. "Yes sir, I'm with her! My name is Belliahal."

"Ok you two, why are you here?" asked Roran.

"_Why are we stalling," _asked Saphira.

"_We have just met two very strange girls named Artemis and Belliahal! I have seen their faces somewhere, but I can't put a finger on it," _Replied Eragon.

"_I know! We saw their faces on a poster on our way here, something about kidnapping Shurikan!" _said Saphira.

"_Wow! We could use help from these two!"_ said Eragon.

…Meanwhile…

"We are here because we want to be!" yelled WereCat/Artemis.

"Ok, shh! Quiet down or the Ra' zac will hear you and then we're deadbies," whispered Roran.

"Hey! You guys can come with us, ok?" said a now unfazed Eragon.

"Really? You mean it?" asked an awed WereCat/Artemis.

"Of course I do! Let's go!"

……

**That's the end of chapter uno/un! I hope you enjoyed! By the way, Galby's worst nightmares is gonna be a while. I accidently lost the document it was on.**


	2. STAY OUT OF MY TENT!

**Hey! Sorry about the long wait! My plot bunny ran away!**

**WereCat: Kattie will say the disclaimer!**

**Kattie: Never!**

**WereCat: Say it!**

**Kattie: Make me!**

**WereCat: Say it!**

**Kattie: You and what army?**

**WereCat: *appears with army of fellow werecats***

**Kattie: Oh…**

**WereCat: Will you say it?**

**Kattie: WereCatsRule doesn't own the Inheritance Cycle or its characters and KookyKattie.**

…**..**

Kattie and WereCat had set up a small camp outside of the other and gave one warning… "Don't go in the camp!"

"I dare you to go in there!" Roran whispered to his cousin.

"No way, you go!" Eragon shot back.

"Okay, we both sneak in from opposite sides on the count of three!" Roran compromised.

"Okay, one!" said Eragon

"Two!" said Roran.

"Three!" they whispered in unison and snuck inside.

…..

In the camp there were a fire pit and three tents, each with a sign on the front. The one on the left said, "Do Not Enter If You Wish To Live!" The one on the right said, " Private! Do Not Enter!" The middle said, "Welcome!" but it still looked highly suspicious. There was a fire blazing merrily in the center of the camp.

"Let's go in the middle one first! It's the largest!" whispered Eragon, and indeed it was. The middle tent was at least twice the size of the other two.

"I agree! You keep watch!" Roran whispered back.

…..

Roran snuck quietly in the tent, only to see Kattie already there. She was holding a bowl of buttered salty popcorn(I don't know how he knew what that was) and looking at a metal box with moving pictures on it. Kattie was also sitting on a bed-like seat. The entire room was littered with posters and popcorn on the floor and the walls.

"Hi!" smiled Kattie as if she was expecting him.

"Um… hi!" he said.

"It's nice to see you!"

"I thought we weren't allowed in here," he replied to her unexpected comment.

"No just not the other tents 'cause that's where we sleep and dress and stuff!"

"Okay!" he smiled.

"Where's Eragon?" she asked.

"Keeping watch!" he replied.

"Well let's hope he doesn't open the tent on the left!" she smiled.

"Why?" and no sooner then he asked…

CRASH!

"RAWR!"

"AH! HELP ME!"

"We should go check on them!"

"I think so!" he yelled as he ran out the tent.

…..

"YOU JERK! STAY OUT OF MY TENT!" WereCat screamed.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Eragon.

…..5 minutes earlier…..

Eragon was really bored. Here he was, sitting, keeping watch for Roran, and doing absolutely nothing. Eragon looked over at the tent on the left. He didn't care how threatening the sign was, he was going in.

As soon as he stepped in he heard a blood curdling scream. (WereCat had been making some popcorn and didn't appreciate the lack of privacy.) He ran out of the tent with WereCat hot on his heels.

…..Back to Present…..

At this point WereCat had tackled Eragon and was beating him up with a crousant (the crescant moon shaped french bread)

"AHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Eragon like a little girl.

Eragon kicked WereCat away from him and started running, again. WereCat started chasing him, again.

"YOU STAY OUT OF MY TENT YOU LITTLE TWERP!" she yelled.

"Artemis stop!" ordered Kattie.

"WHY!?!" yelled WereCat, who was still chasing Eragon.'

"Because he wasn't trying to take anything!"

"O…"

…..

Eragon snuck back to WereCat's tent and grabbed her Never-Ending-Supplies bag. Putting his hand in he thought, _pie pie please be pie!_

He took his hands out cautiously and found they held a piping hot cherry pie!

"Hey who wants pie?" he asked.

"I DO!" screeched WereCat.

"You idiot! Don't give it to her!" yelled Kattie.

"Hey Artemis never mind I'll eat it."

But when he looked down it was gone and looking across from him, he saw WereCat finishing off the pie.

"Oh…"

"No…"

"!" screamed WereCat.

She screamed running around the room.

"PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE!" she screeched.

…..1 hour later…..

"Slytha!" ordered Eragon for the 60th time. It had taken the whole hour to tie WereCat to a pole and try to get her to sleep. Finally his sleep spell took its toll and WereCat's head slumped.

"Is she asleep?" asked Roran timidly from behind a tree.

"Yes."

"FINALLY!" Roran yelled.

"Shush, you'll wake her up!"

"Sorry!"

* * *

**I know stupid, but I considered it just a filler chapter.**

**REVIEW! REVIEWS MAKE ME HAPPY!**


	3. Nachos, Macarena, and Ra'zac OH MY!

**Hello! I'm here to (of course) add some more fun to your poor humorless lives! I'd like to thank the VERY FEW that REVIEWED! Come on peoples! If you don't start reviewing I'll send some of my WereCat friends to deal with you, got it? (And I'll post less and less often) Sorry about the long chapter wait… I was grounded. For those of you who scream when you read the story, yes, I did change the plotline a little bit.**

**WereCat: GreenBay will say the disclaimer!**

**Kattie: YES SHE WILL!**

**GreenBay: NO I WON'T!**

**WereCat and Kattie: YES YOU WILL!**

**GreenBay: Make me!**

**WereCat and Kattie: *pulls out lightsabers***

**GreenBay: *gulp* Ok, ok I'll say it! WereCat doesn't own the Inheritance Cycle, it's characters, Kattie, or me, GreenBay. She also doesn't own Miley Cyrus, Mentos, or (unfortunately) nachos.**

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………**..**

It was around midday when WereCat got the call.

_Artemis!_

WereCat just groaned in her magically induced sleep.

_Artemis!_

_What?!?_

_Wake up!_

_How?_

_Will yourself to!_

WereCat began attempting to push her eyelids open. When she had them all the way opened, she saw that she was tied to a tree on the outskirts of camp.

_Hey! Who are you and why were you in my head in the first place?_

_It's Eragon! I'm trying to send you a message before they drug me!_

_Drug you?_

_Yeah! We're captured by the Ra'zac!_

_And I suppose you want us to rescue you?_

_No! Get to the Varden and tell Nausuda._

_No._

_What did you say to me?_

_No. I said no._

_Don't you dare come and rescue us!_

"Kattie! Come untie me so we can go rescue Eragon, Roran, and Katrina!" WereCat yelled.

_What did you just yell?_

_Oh, I was telling Belliahal that we needed to go rescue you._

_Artemis-_

_Sorry the number you have reached is not available at the moment; please leave your name, number and a callback message at the beep. BEEP!_

_Forget it!_

Meanwhile Kattie was busy untying WereCat from the tree. As soon as she finished WereCat jumped up. "Kattie!"

"Yeah WereCat?" asked Kattie.

"We're going to rescue Eragon! The Ra'zac has captured him, Roran, and Katrina!" WereCat declared.

"So we're going to help them after all?"

"Yes, yes we are."

* * *

The shapeshifter and the werecat set off together.  
Their weapons included:

-the never ending supplies bag

-Several suspicious 2 liter bottles of orange soda

-A couple of mini bottles orange soda

-Some boxes of Mentos candy

-WereCat's pickle gun, floss and lightsaber

-Kattie's wooden spoon, rusty spoon, punch bag Barney, and lightsaber

-pie

* * *

The two girls snuck their way over to Helgrind. It was a rather long walk, but they made it. WereCat began feeling around the base of Helgrind, when suddenly her hand went through and she fell face- first in the dirt.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" laughed Kattie.

"Oh, just shut up!" WereCat grumbled in reply.

Both of them pulled out their light sabers and cautiously began moving forward through the dark rock mass.

"Helloooo!" yelled WereCat.

"Echo!" Kattie yelled and they heard it respond.

"Do remember the story of Echo?" asked WereCat.

"You mean the nymph that just wouldn't shut up?" Kattie asked in reply.

"Yeah, that's the one."

Suddenly a loud hissing noise went straight past Kattie and something embedded itself in a nearby rock. A hooded figure moved forward.

"And who might you be?" said a voice that probably sounded as bad as it smelled; of mold and rotten raw meat.

"I'm Artemis, and this is Belliahal!" WereCat said gleefully. "What's your name?"

"Um… Artemis, I don't think that's a good-" Kattie started.

Another hooded figure leapt next to the other. "We are the Ra'zac!" they declared. At the last syllable both girls pulled out there lightsabers and activated them which made a familiar hiss.

"Thanks a lot WereCat!" Kattie asked.

"I'll fix this! I promise!" WereCat said. She stuck her hand in her never-ending-supplies bag and pulled out some nachos. "Hmm… not what I was expecting but ok!" she said and threw them at one of the Ra'zac who ran around blindly with nachos covering his face. WereCat stuck her hand back inside and out a radio. WereCat turned it on and the song, Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus began playing.

"Ssssstop it! It burnsssssss!" yelled one of the Ra'zac. They both began doing the Macarena. "Pleasssse! We are begging you for mercy! We can't sssstop dancing!" they screeched. Both girls shared a look.

"Nah!" they responded.

"Hey WereCat! Should we get rid of them?" Kattie whispered.

"No. I think we should leave them like this for a while." WereCat replied.

"Why?" asked Kattie.

"Because it's funny!" WereCat said.

"Good point!" and the girls ran off.

"Hey! We need your help! Aren't you going to resssscue ussss?" yelled the Ra'zac.

"We told you no already!" came their reply.

Soon they WereCat and Kattie came to a cliff and they saw that on the other side was the door behind which the prisoners were being held. After seeing this WereCat reached into her bag and pulled out two arrows and a bow. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a container of floss.

"WereCat, what are you doing?" asked Kattie.

"You'll see!" was all WereCat said.

* * *

Several minutes later, there was a floss covered arrow in a rock above their heads. The floss reached all the way over to the other side where another arrow was stuck.

"Kattie, you wouldn't happen to have your boomerangs with you?" asked WereCat.

"Of course I do! Why do you ask?" Kattie responded.

"Well, we're going to zip line across!" WereCat exclaimed.

"Do you know how to zip line?" asked Kattie.

"Not a clue!"

So Kattie gave WereCat one of her boomerangs and both of them zip lined and safely landed on the other side.

"Ready?" asked WereCat.

"Ready!" replied Kattie.

WereCat sat on the ground and pulled out the three large two-liter bottles of orange soda. Kattie handed WereCat some pudding, jello, bubble bath mixture, vinegar, and chopped onions.

"Kattie, have you made the grenades?" WereCat asked.

"Yup!" Kattie said holding up two mini orange soda bombs.

WereCat and Kattie went next to the door and pushed the orange soda bombs right next to the door. WereCat quickly put the Mentos into the bombs while Kattie came right behind her putting on the caps.

"FIRE IN THE HOLE!" WereCat yelled and the girls ducked behind a rather large rock.

BOOM!

Onions went flying everywhere and (luckily for our newly rescued heroes) Eragon, Katrina, and Roran were hiding behind the cot (they went there as soon as WereCat yelled fire in the hole).

"Yeah!" the two girls yelled and they high-fived each other.

"Let's go get the Ra'zac!" yelled Kattie. Eragon looked in horror upon the insane girls.

"You didn't get the Ra'zac?!?" he yelled.

"Oh we did!" Kattie said gleefully. "They're currently unstoppably dancing the Macarena to Miley Cyrus songs!"

Both girls ran back to the zip line and went across. Eragon called Saphira (whom he had told to fly away right before their capture) and they flew across the gap. They followed the two insane girls to a room where they saw the Ra'zac still dancing uncontrollably.

Eragon grabbed his sword and whipped around. The spell broke and one of the Ra'zac scattered. The other stood up against him and pulled out a blade.

An epic sword fight started ultimately killing the Ra'zac. Everyone made their way out of the giant rock and just as they were about to leave Eragon made a big speech about how he was going to stay in Helgrind to hunt the rest of the Ra'zac alone. WereCat knew something was up and …

"I'M COMING WITH YOU!" she yelled.

"Fan girl, much?" muttered Kattie.

"I heard that!" WereCat yelled even louder.

"How?" asked Eragon. "I'm half-elf and I didn't hear it!"

"None of your beez!" WereCat snapped.

"Sorry her caffine level is low! Here's some coke! WereCat, here is your stuff, but can we take the never-ending supplies bag?" asked Kattie.

"Of course!" she leaned closer to whisper something. "I won't need it remember! I'll just go cat form and eat a mouse!"

"Ok!"

They all gave parting words and WereCat watched as Kattie, Roran, and Katrina took off on Saphira. Smiling she yelled, " Take care of my bag!" After they could see them no more the two set off into Helgrind.


	4. Bedpans and WereCat's Secret

**MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! FREEDOM AT LAST****! ****I am happy to announce that I am now devoting ALL my attention to this story! I want 15 reviews total before I post this again! I've also decided that until you give me them I can always work on next chapter! *snicker* That means that I have all the time in the world before I do anything, and if I don't you'll just have to wait! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! EVIL ME! **

**Eragon: Why am I in a big white room?**

**WereCat: ERAGON WILL SAY DISCLAIMER!**

**Eragon: Where am I?**

**WereCat: In the author's room, you idiot! NOW SAY THE STUPID DISCLAIMER! *morphs only teeth and claws***

**Eragon: *gulp* WereCatsRule does not own the Inheritance Cycle, it's characters, Princess, Anaitis, or Kattie.**

**WereCat: Good boy! NOW GET IN THE STORY!**

**Eragon: *runs in story as fast as he can***

…**..**

WereCat had been walking around for twenty minutes when she felt three different presences brush against her mind. Curious, she allowed them to enter just enough so she could learn a little about them. Realizing what she had found, she came up with a plan to get them without alerting Eragon.

"Hey Eragon!" WereCat yelled.

"Yes?" Eragon asked.

"Would it be okay if we split up?" she asked. "I mean we could cover more ground!"

"Of course!" he replied, sounding delighted. WereCat frowned. She was planning to tie him up and threaten to feed him to a Ra'zac if he said no! Why didn't he say no? She shrugged. At least she got what she wanted.

She walked toward the odd minds, making sure that there was no possible way for Eragon to track her. She did this even though she knew Eragon was looking for Sloan right about now and wouldn't try to find her anyway. She walked closer to the minds, hearing their whispers, hearing them enticing her onward. WereCat turned a corner and found a chest. The same exact chest in which she put the biggest secret of Alagaesia months before.

WereCat had found the hiding place of the three little dragon eggs of Shurikan and Saphira. Smiling, she gracefully put the eggs in her pack. She looked around a little longer and, satisfied, she left.

Little did she know that Eragon was rummaging through something in the next room.

She walked into the room to find Eragon furiously dropping everything. He turned around and began humming suspiciously.

"Hi Eragon! What have you been doing?" WereCat asked.

"N-n-n-nothing! Nothing at-t-t all!" Eragon replied quickly. His eyes were blinking 40 times in three seconds!

"Oh really?" she asked, her smile clearly saying that she was up to no good.

"I didn't do anything!" he yelled.

"So suspiciously humming, fast talking, rapid blinking, and stuttering means you didn't do anything while I was gone?" she asked.

"Uh…YES!" Eragon exclaimed.

"What's that you're holding behind your back?" WereCat asked, enjoying his confusion and panic.

"Oh, this? Well it's- it's- it's an antique! I found this genuine container! It could easily be a weapon of great importance!" he smiled at his "special" container, proudly displaying it where I could see.

"It looks like a bed pan," I pointed out.

"A what?" he asked.

"Something someone in a medical facility uses to use the bathroom in," she asked.

"Ugh… did I need to know that?" Eragon asked.

"Well, you asked!" she yelled.

"You could have lied!" he yelled louder.

"Lying is bad!" she yelled louder still.

"I know that you're lying to me about something! There's something you're not telling me Artemis, if that is your real name?" he yelled.

They did not notice that the Ra'zac had crept up behind them and was watching the argument with a rather confused look on his face.

"Little humans, I am here to fight! Anyone want to challenge me?" the Ra'zac asked.

"Shut up, Ra'zac!" the two arguing beings yelled.

"You two bicker like children! Fight me!" he yelled and attacked.

Eragon and WereCat-erm-Artemis ran up. Eragon kept him occupied with that stick of his, while WereCat-erm-Artemis flanked him.

WereCat-erm-Artemis proceeded to fight when the Ra'zac clipped her on her chin! "You jerk!" she screamed. Eragon promptly covered his ears. (He thought she was cussing him out.) "Eragon get your lazy butt over here and finish him off!" she began yelling.

Eragon, of course, couldn't hear her because he has his ears covered. Meanwhile she was screaming, "YOU LAZY BUM! GET OVER HERE AND DEFEAT THE RA'ZAC OR I'LL DEFEAT YOU!"

Again, he couldn't hear her. So WereCat came over, grabbed his hair and pulled him over to the Ra'zac. She pointed at the Ra'zac and hit her hand with her fist. Eragon, finally getting the message, grabbed his stick and began pounding on the Ra'zac. After he killed he made a comment like, "For Brom, for Garrow, for Carvahall, I have had my vengeance."

Oh well. They went through the rest of Helgrind and eventually, made camp. Eragon revealed that he had saved Sloan. (Stupid him.) WereCat ate herself a mouse (away from Eragon of course.) and pestered Sloan, who was on the verge of strangling her. What a fun day!

…..

**By the time I finished it I decided that I'll cut you all some slack and just ask you to review! But please review!**


	5. Dr P!

**Hi! I'm really excited about updating! I finally have 15 reviews! *cries* I'd like to thank all my lovely readers! Special thanks to Chocolate and Drama and KookyKattie for going out of their way to review every chapter so I would update! *hands cookies* I'm also thinking about starting another story called ****Twin Disasters' House of Crazies**** ! Review with a yes or no answer! Let it also be known that I had GreenBay and Kattie in the room with me when I wrote this chapter!**

**WereCat: Sloan will say disclaimer.**

**Sloan: NOT ON YOUR LIFE!**

**WereCat: Is that a challenge?**

**Sloan: Uh…..yes!**

**WereCat: *picks up spear* CHARGE!**

**Sloan: *cowers in fear* Mommy!**

**Kattie: Mwahahahahaha!**

**Sloan: When did you get here?**

**Kattie: None of your beeswax. * puts hands on hips***

**WereCat: Do you surrender?**

**Sloan: NEVER!**

**Kattie: Shall we?**

**WereCat: We shall!**

**Sloan: What are you…..**

**WereCat: Alpha formation sector 5!**

**Kattie: Huh?**

**WereCat: I don't know! It sounded cool!**

**GreenBay: *runs in* YEAH! *shoots baby doll***

**WereCat: You're not in this story yet! SHOO! **

**GreenBay: So, I wanted to come in early!**

**WereCat: I SAID SHOO!**

**GreenBay: *runs off* MWHAHAHAHAHA!**

**Sloan: WereCatsRule doesn't own any of the characters of and/or the plot of the Inheritance Cycle! She also doesn't own GreenBay, Dr. Pepper, Alex, Dr. P, or KookyKattie. **

**Kattie: *pats Sloan's head* Good boy!**

**GreenBay: Unholy Barney! I left my baby doll!**

**WereCat and Kattie: SHOO!**

…**..**

Kattie was murmuring to herself, "Please be giant pizza with ranch! Please!" She pulled her hand out of WereCat's bag and in it was a 4 by 3 square foot pizza. "YAY!" she screeched and dived, literally, into the pizza.

**-Several Hours Later-**

Kattie hoped off Saphira. "Kattie! Where have you been? I've been waiting for you to get back here for weeks!" Kattie looked around and saw a strange girl. She had brown hair with one hazel eye and one brown eye. The girl wore denim knee shorts and a short sleeved black shirt that said with white block letters, "BACK IN BLACK!"

Kattie's mouth dropped. "Alex, is that you?"

Alex smiled, "You know it!"

Kattie and Alex high-fived. "So what have the Twin Disasters been up to while I was stuck here?"

Kattie asked, "What do you mean? We asked if you wanted to go through the portal!"

Alex replied, "Meh! I tried to get back!"

Kattie looked at her watch, "Hey! I gotta go meet Angela! She said that if we ever come back we needed to talk to her."

Alex replied, " Okay then! See you later!" Alex then went to her tent and felt something covering her mouth. "Hello my amigo! Make any sound and you'll never see the light of day again!"

**-Meanwhile-**

Kattie walked into the herbalist shop. "I knew you'd be back!" Kattie suddenly found herself in a bear hug.

"Hi Angela!"

"Oh my gosh, I can't believe it's you!"

"How come you're the only one who can remember us?"

"I think it's the portal spell you used… I'm a witch and eat my own herbs!"

"Oh….."

"Do you have the mad-rabbit prevention sweater I gave you?"

Kattie opened up her sack (Not WereCat's Never-Ending Supply Bag… It would get lost!) and pulled out an odd sweater that Angela had knit her. "Of course!" was her reply.

**-after the rest of the long boring conversation during a meeting of sorts-**

Kattie left the tent utterly bored. Because all the people here were slightly afraid of the girls from the strange lands, she had to find Alex. As she approached the tent Alex was supposed to live in, she felt a sense of…. caffine. Don't ask me why, but she did. She knew it was Alex's tent because there were big letters saying, "Alex's Tent".

When she got in there was nothing. Nothing at all except…

"A Dr. Pepper?"

This puzzled her at first. Her mouth dropped as she realized that Alex was kidnapped by none other than the Twins + 1 's nemesis….

"DR. P!"

**A/N: I know, I know. Short chapter. But there was not much for me to work with. If anyone could send a couple of Alex |Kattie |Dr. P plot bunnies my way that would be nice! Brownies to reviewers and pie to plot bunny senders! **


	6. A Hint of Bad Grammer

**Sorry about the wait. My computer is being rather uncooperative. It keeps deleting what I write and restarting! I think when it doesn't like what I've written, it deletes it. I can't believe even my computer is criticizing me! Anyway, it must have finally like it because now I have finally updated! I give an extra cyber thank you and a virtual pie to She-Who-Has-A-Very-Long-Name, who sent PMs to me with ideas. Thank you!**

**I'm thinking about focusing on this story for a while then writing ****WereCat's Story**** and others. Sorry but I just need to finish something! It will give me a sense of accomplishment since I never stay with something for very long, but I really am enjoying this, so I plan to write more often. Now I give the reviewers the promised virtual brownies!**

**WereCat: Hi Everyone!**

**Kattie: Aloha!**

**Alex: Bonjour!**

**Dr. P: WereCat told me to say it *clears throat* WereCatsRule doesn't own the Inheritance Cycle or its characters, Indiana Jones, Frankenstein, or laxatives.**

Kattie began to run as fast as she could. "Not good!" she spat out as she ran. After a couple of "evasive maneuvers" and some dodging she found her way to a creepy castle that looked like it belonged in a black and white Frankenstein movie.

"Might as well take the traditional way," she sighed and walked up the steps. There was a really weird soda shaped door-knocker that she practically beat on the door with.

The door opened eerily by itself and Kattie warily stepped onto the rug. Or carpet. Whatever. "Anyone home?" she yelled. After no answer she felt rather irritated. " IS ANYONE HOME?"

**-Meanwhile—**

"Aw come on Eragon! It's just a fruit!"

"No! I have no idea what fruit it is and am not sure whether or not it is sanitary!"

"I didn't know you were a neat freak…"

"That beside the point! I refuse to eat this strange fruit!"

"Why not?"

"For all I know it may be poisoned or filled with sedation stuff!"

"Why would I- never mind. Stupid question."

"Exactly. I don't want to wake up in my underwear surrounded by Imperial soldiers!"

"Huh?"

"You were murmuring your plan in your sleep."

"Why were you listening to me in my sleep?"

"Sloan did it, not me! He just woke me up and told me before you woke up."

"He is so getting destroyed by my army of rabid hamsters!"

**-Back to the Main Plot—**

"I knew Dr. P was a creepy stalker but not this bad." For those who want to know, Kattie stumbled on a 24 hour surveillance room of our good friend, Alex.

She shuddered and locked the door. She opened the next room and saw Alex.

"Hey Kattie! How goes it?" Alex yelled from across the room.

"Great! How about you?"

"Just peachy."

Kattie attempted to get across the room, nearly stumbling in a conveniently placed spike pit and almost getting decapitated. "Wow! I'm the modern Indiana Jones! AWESOME!"

"Well, Miss Modern Indiana Jones. Can I please be rescued? My circulation is getting cut off!"

"I'm coming! I'm coming! Don't get your telepathy in a twist!"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"No idea."

**-Meanwhile—**

"Eragon! You are so dramatic! One tiny bite! Please?"

"Fine! Just stop pestering me!" Eragon grabbed the yellow crescent shaped fruit peeled off the top. Wer- Artemis smiled encouragement. Eragon daintily pushed to peeling off and took a small bite. "This is so good!" he yelled and began eating as fast as he could.

We- Artemis came up with a clever, brilliant plan.

"Hey Eragon! Have you ever had chocolate?"

**-Back to the Main Plot, again—**

"Watch it with that knife Kattie!" Alex protested as a very sharp knife was sloppily chopping through the ropes. "I would not enjoy being accidently shish-ka-bobbed!"

"I wouldn't do that!" Kattie smiled. "I'm too awesome for-" then a loud bang was heard.

"HONEY! I'm HOOOOOOOOMMMMEEEE!" boomed a voice. (the accent is Italian)

"Is that-?" began Kattie.

"It is," said Alex before Kattie could mention the evil _evil _name.

"Sweety, how were you without the great and magnificently wondrous Dr. P! Your stal- em- admirer has arrived!"

In walked a brown haired, brown eyed, Italian 19-year-old. His smile was so weird, like stalker weird (which he was) and his eyes were so creepy, staring at Alex. "Wierdo!" muttered Kattie, barely able to suppress the laugh when she made the private joke (meaning only she knows why it's funny!). Shut up WIV! You can't narrate my story! (Oh, but I did!) We will talk about this later!

**-Meanwhile—**

"Here you go! One banana dipped in hot fudge with a special surprise!" Were-Artemis (Heheh… Were-Artemis)

Eragon began scarfing down his fifteenth banana. "What's the special surprise?"

Were-Artemis leaned over and whispered really quiet in his ear, "The surprise is laxatives."

Eragon gave her a funny look. "What are…..?" Suddenly Eragon stiffened and this horribly embarrassed look came across his face. He stood up. "Excuse me but I have to go to the little Dragon Riders' room," he commented politely. He then took a few steps and then ran as fast as he could for cover. WereCat finally couldn't hold in anymore and laughed. She laughed so hard that she fell down and was literally Rolling-On-The-Floor-Laughing-Out-Loud.

She sat up abruptly and somehow pulled a clipboard out if thin air. "ROTFLOL under natural circumstances…." She put a pen to the clipboard(not before clicking the pen several times) and made a mark, "CHECK!"

**-Back to the Plot, laddy-**

"HAHAHAHAHAHA! You will never take my precious Alex away from me!" Dr. P pulled out a big red button that said "SELF-DESTRUCT" and guffawed while doing so. That's an interesting word, guffawed. It sounds and in reality is funny. Guffawed, heheh. Anywho, Dr. P began to say his villain speech, blah blah blah. "Come over here Alex and swear to never leave me, then I'll press the self-destruct button for the self-destruct button, O.K.?"

Alex and Kattie exchanged a confused look at this comment. Kattie mouthed 'Self-destruct button for self-destruct button?' Dr. P, who apparently knew what they were talking about yelled, "I have alot of self-destruct buttons! I've got one for the toaster, one for the fridge. I even have a self-destruct button for the self-destruct button for the self-destruct button!"

Kattie looked at Dr. P sourly, "That's bad grammar!"

Dr. P looked at her in confusion. "What-?"

Kattie poked him in the chest, "Alot is bad grammar. The correct term is a lot. Two words! Get it right, genius!"

Dr. P gave a puzzled look to Alex, "Is she kidding?"

Alex smirked, "Kattie doesn't kid about grammar!"

Dr. P officially lost then. Apparently he is a grammar MORON! "Face me you grammar stickler!"

Kattie smiled and pulled out a digital camera and pressed the little button that takes pictures. Dr. P was temporarily blinded by the flash. While he was distracted, she proceeded to pull out a rubber chicken and beat him with it. She took a few quills and threw them at his head. Finding that it just made Dr. P angrier, she decided to take a more desperate action.

Kattie took out a whole porcupine and threw it at Dr. P! Dr. P, evidently scared and defeated, began shouting, "I SURRENDER! I SURRENDER!" Alex and Kattie high-fived and began to tie Dr. P up.

Alex smiled. "This has been a productive day!"


End file.
